


i thought that you were hiding

by hundertsieben



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Canon Trans Character, Gen, Trans, Trans Character, Trans Female Character, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-26
Updated: 2018-08-21
Packaged: 2019-06-16 08:52:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15433410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hundertsieben/pseuds/hundertsieben
Summary: It's about Ron being trans. I don't know where this is going yet, it starts just before first year.





	1. A Fresh Start

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [to discover the boy you lost](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11821773) by [scorpiusismypatronus](https://archiveofourown.org/users/scorpiusismypatronus/pseuds/scorpiusismypatronus). 



> I changed some things to my liking ...  
> Also I'm not a native speaker so you'll most probably have to deal with some mistakes or unusual wording. If you don't understand it tell me :)

Ron came back from dinner. The sign on his door again said "Peregrinus", where he had only changed it to "Ronald" an hour ago. He ripped it off and lay down to read in his handed-down school books for first year but couldn't concentrate on them. His parents had just used floo powder to travel to Professor Dumbledore's fireplace. He hoped immensely it would all go right.

Percy stuck his head in Ron's and Ginny's room.

"Hey Ron, you want to come and try on my old school uniforms? I think Fred and George were already taller than you are now in first year."

"Sure.", Ron replied, happy about the distraction.

"It's really got an advantage, being the only daughter", Ginny said, "I get new skirts for my first year!"

Ron sat down on Percy's bed while his older brother emptied most of his wardrobe to find the old clothes.

"What's your trouser size currently?", Percy asked, holding a stack of black trousers.

Ron didn't answer.

"Hey, Ron!"

The name felt like handed-down clothes of the wrong size. It didn't fit and looked really worn down. He couldn't imagine introducing himself to his new class mates.

"Yeah. Sorry, what?"

"Your trouser size. Are you okay?"

"Yeah. No. I'm not."

Percy sat down on the bed next to him.

"Want to talk about it?"

Ron shrugged and hugged his knees with his arms.

"I don't know. About school. I'm afraid."

Their eyes met.

"That's okay. Everybody is, I guess."

"Probably", Ron replied. But this was different.

"Will you help me if anything goes real wrong, though? You're a prefect, after all."

"Sure. That's my job. And even more so for my little brother!"

"But what if I don't get sorted into Gryffindor?"

"It's not like us prefects don't talk to each other. Also, I'm pretty sure you will be sorted into Gryffindor."

Percy pressed his shoulder.

"Now, what's your trousers size?"

 

* * *

 

Ron walked through the aisle, the train's movements pushing him to one side or the other in the track curves. Every compartment was packed with pupils and their baggage. He stopped at a compartment with only one boy in it and stuck his head in. He remembered to speak low. He really wanted this to work.

"Hey, can I sit here? It's full everywhere."

"Sure", the boy answered. His amber skin matched with the dark red shirt he wore, though it was way too big for him. He had crammed the lower end in his trousers, which made him look very skinny. Maybe he just was skinny. Ron put his suitcase on the rack and sat down below, opposite the boy, who watched him interestedly through round glasses.

"I'm -", he hesitated, "I'm Ron. Ron Weasley." It sounded more familiar with the surname.

"I'm Harry.", the boy answered, "Harry Potter."

Ron's gaze wandered up Harry's forehead.

"You're - you're really Harry Potter?", he stammered, "The boy who lived?"

"I don't - I think so.", said Harry, surprised by Ron's wide eyes.


	2. new paths seem familiar

"So - which year are you in?", Harry asked.  
  
"First year."  
  
"Me too.", Harry said, as if this wasn't a known fact.  
  
Ron brainstormed his memory for a good small talk topic, but nothing came up. He looked out the window. Harry did alike.  
  
"Have you thought about which house you'll be in?", he asked Harry.  
  
"What's a house?"  
  
Ron explained. He felt the tension calm.  
  
"I really hope I'll be in Gryffindor with my brothers.", he added.  
  
Harry pushed up his glasses, looking worried.  
  
"I hope I won't be in Slytherin.", he said.  
  
"Oh, I really don't suppose you'll be sorted into Slytherin."  
  
The door to their compartment opened and a girl with a deep black Afro stuck her head in.  
  
"Hi, we're looking for a toad.", she explained, "Neville's lost his."  
  
She pointed at the boy behind her, who looked pale and worried. Harry and Ron gazed at her.  
  
"There's no toad here.", answered Ron.  
  
"Are you first years', too?", she asked.  
  
They nodded.  
  
"I'm Hermione, and you?"  
  
Harry and Ron mumbled their names. Hermione's dark eyes focused on Harry's. She drew her wand, pointed it at his eyes and said: "Reparo!"  
  
Harry, obviously struck by her spontaneity, tried to look at his glasses as cellotape unrolled from the nose bridge. Hermione had repaired it.  
  
"How do you know that?", Ron asked, "We're not allowed to practice magic at home."  
  
"I haven't. I've only read it in my schoolbooks.", she explained, "It's in our book for Charms, chapter five. Haven't you prepared yourself for classes?"  
  
She wrinkled her nose.  
  
"Come on, let's find your toad.", she said to Neville.  
  
Harry looked at Ron, who shook his head in amazement.

 

* * *

 

  
_Please, Gryffindor, please, I really need to be with Percy_ , he thought. _Please, please, Gryffindor._ He felt desperate and pathetic for needing his brother's help so badly. He stood in line, waiting to be sorted. He couldn't even concentrate on who was sorted into which house - he noticed Harry Potter had been sorted into Gryffindor, greeted by loud cheers he sat down at the Gryffindor table. He tore at his hair, which didn't work well because Bill had recently cut it very short at his request. It made him anxious now.  
  
"Ronald Bilius Weasley!", the teacher exclaimed.  
  
He stumbled forward, hitting his toes on the two stairs he had to climb, and sat down. The same teacher - her name was Mrs McGonagall, he remembered - lowered the Speaking Hat on his red hair. _Please, Gryffindor,_ he thought. _Please, sort me into Gryffindor, Speaking Hat._  
  
"Ah", a squeaky voice said in his head, "ah, another Weasley!"  
  
_Gryffindor, please sort me into Gryffindor,_ his thoughts screamed at the voice.  
  
"Gryffindor, you're saying? I'd say Hufflepuff would be a good fit, too. Now, let's see ..."  
  
_I really need to be in Gryffindor! I need my brothers, please!_  
  
"I think you'd do well in Hufflepuff on your own. You're a strong mind, have trust in yourself. But if you really wish so, it's GRYFFINDOR!"  
  
The last word had been exclaimed aloud. Ron sighed.  
  
Percy smiled at him when he sat down next to Harry. He smiled back brightly.  
  
"Congrats! I'm happy to be in a house with you!", Harry said.  
  
"Thanks!", Ron replied. He shoveled cheese pasta on his plate. He hadn't noticed how hungry he was.  
  
Percy lead the first years of his house to the Gryffindor common room after his food had magically disappeared way too early. He dropped back to walk beside Ron.  
  
"Can I have a word?", he asked.  
  
"Sure."  
  
They let the other students overtake them.  
  
"There's one thing I haven't told you about. I didn't want to scare you."  
  
"What is it?", his eyes widened.  
  
"I don't think it will be a problem. You're not the first trans Gryffindor. The stairs to the dormitories - the dormitories are separated by gender. And the stairs won't let boys walk to the girls' dormitories and vice versa."  
  
"Oh.", Ron sighed, "What happens if you do it?"  
  
"The stairs turn into a slide. But don't worry too much about it. As I said, you are not the first trans Gryffindor. It's let people use the correct dormitory so far. I just didn't want to let you run into this unprepared."  
  
"Thanks, I think."  
  
Percy walked back to the front and explained something about the moving stairs in his schoolmasterly manner. Ron kept his head down. He could hear blood rushing in his ears.  
  
"Hey, Ron! Are you okay?" It was Harry. He had overheard him at least once.  
  
"What? Yes. I am."  
  
"Was that one of your brothers?"  
  
"Yes, Percy is my third oldest brother."  
  
"He seems a bit annoying to have as a brother.", Harry suggested.  
  
"Yes, probably. But he's okay, really. Fred and George are worse by far."  
  
"Hey, you two in the back, please listen up!", Percy urged them. Ron searched for the pockets in his gown to put his sweaty hands in.

 

* * *

 

 

Ron took every step cautiously. He was already on step four. Five, six. He paused at ten and looked back, but thought it would be safer to just keep going before the stairs changed their mind. A heavy sigh of relief escaped him when he reached the first years' dormitory on step 16. He found his suitcase on a spacious bed next to Harry's and sat down on it.  
  
"I've never had that much space.", Harry stated.  
  
"Me neither. I'm sleeping with my sister in one small room."  
  
"I'd been sleeping in a cupboard under the stairs until recently."  
  
"You have been what?!" Ron looked seriously alarmed.  
  
"My step parents have always treated me like shit. I'm real glad I got away from them for now."  
  
"I'm sorry. Maybe you can come visit us at our place next holidays. I'm sure my mom wouldn't mind."  
  
Harry beamed. "That sounds fantastic!"  
  
Ron turned around to decide which of his belongings would go where. He smiled silently. So far, things were going really well. He had already made a friend, who accidentally was the best known student at Hogwarts, and he'd passed perfectly.  
  
Percy stuck his head in the dormitory's door.  
  
"Can I have another word with you, Ron?"  
  
"It's about the bathrooms", he said as they walked down the stairs, "the ones I showed you on the way have a huge room basically and you can't take off your clothes unseen. If you want to use them that's fine and I'll support you whatever happens."  
  
Ron nodded.  
  
"But if you don't feel like it you can use another bathroom. Do you want to know where it is?"  
  
"Yes, please!"


	3. show me lonely

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CN: unintended outing

In the dawn light that illuminated Ron's bed beneath the curtains, Ron put on a tight shirt two sizes too small and a big, heavy sweater. During school days he bandaged his chest, but right now he only wanted to have a shower before everybody else did. He pulled the curtains sideways.  
  
Unfortunately, the Gryffindor bathrooms were bright lit and he heard some one shower, so he made his way to the bathroom Percy had shown him. It was three storeys down and he hadn't put on shoes, which made him shiver now. Mrs Norris eyed at him curiously. She snarled at him, but she didn't move. He quickened his pace.  
  
He reached the bathroom finally and pressed the door handle. It didn't open. He tried again, but obviously the door was really locked. He lay his ear on the door, but couldn't make out a sound. He didn't know another bathroom, his feet started to hurt on the cold stone floor and the common room seemed far. He also heard some one ascend from the dungeons and didn't want to be seen here.  
  
"Alohomora!", he whispered, his wand pointed to the lock.  
  
The door clicked open. He scurried inside, closing it quickly behind him. The only gender neutral bathroom Hogwarts had was one of a special kind. His eyes wandered across the huge bathtub below big alabaster windows, slowly making their way to the make up mirror and drawers filled with mascara, eyeshadow and kohl in every imaginable colour. But some one sat in front of that mirror, now slowly turning around. She had a slender face with prominent, dark eyebrows, which now wrinkled. Ron froze.  
  
"I'm -", he started, but the girl interrupted him.  
  
"Sorry", she finished his sentence. She was a Slytherin, judging by her tie. She seemed familiar, but he was sure she wasn't attending his classes.  
  
"Yes. I'm sorry. I'll - just leave." He pressed the door handle.  
  
"Wait.", she said, "What were you here for?"  
  
"A shower."  
  
"Do you have another bathroom to go to?"  
  
"Theoretically I could use the bathrooms of our house." He wasn't too keen on disclosing his house to this student.  
  
She examined him from head to toes.  
  
"You're a Gryffindor, aren't you? I've seen you around Harry Potter. Fred and George are your brothers, aren't they?"  
  
He nodded. She turned back around and continued her make up.  
  
"You can shower, if you want to. I won't look." She put mascara on the lashes of her second eye.  
  
He didn't move, his hand still on the handle.  
  
"Oh, come on. I know you're trans.", she added and turned back around. Ron's eyes widened in horror, but he remained silent.  
  
"This bathroom is not known to anybody else, and why were you so reluctant to use the Gryffindor bathrooms otherwise? It's cold here and a long walk from your dormitory." She paused. "Also, I'm trans, too."  
  
Ron let go of the handle and placed his clothes on the floor in front of the bathtub. He waited for her to turn back around and focus on her make up, then slowly undressed. He tried to secretly dart glances at her, but she got up soon and walked out, concisely saying goodbye. He martered his brain for her name. She really seemed familiar.  


 

* * *

  
  
Harry sat down next to Ron on the breakfast table and helped himself to a large serving of scrambled eggs and bacon. He hadn't bothered to put his messy black hair into shape.  
  
"Morning.", he mumbled.  
  
Ron had almost finished breakfast and read in his transfigurations book, trying to make sense of the match that wouldn't turn into a needle.  
  
"Acavert!", he said confidently with his wand pointed. The match lit up, making him blow hurriedly on it to put it out. He closed the book and caught Hermione's glance, who ate on her own down the table. He sighed. She seemed lonely.  
  
"My match turned blue yesterday.", Harry explained between two spoons.  
  
"That's something, I guess. Fred and George turned all my folders pink and changed the name on them." He showed his transfigurations folder to Harry. They all said "Peregrinus Weasley". His twin brothers didn't seem to become tired of that prank. "I don't have a clue how to turn them back."  
  
Harry smiled. Ron poured tea in his cup.  
  
"What are you up to today?", he asked.  
  
"Hagrid invited me over for tea. And I really need to work on that essay for Bills.", Harry replied.  
  
"I'll join you on that." Ron saw the girl he had met in the bathroom enter the great hall. Her long curly hair was tied in a knot. She caught his glance and blinked. He jogged Harry's elbow.  
  
"Do you know who she is?", he asked him, "The girl with the black hoodie at the Slytherin table."  
  
Harry looked up.  
  
"Yes, that's Adeelah Pucey. She's on their Quidditch team. Why do you ask?"  
  
"It's not important. She reacted strangely to me this morning."  
  
He drew a deep breath and moved his shoulders. His back hurt constantly recently.


	4. compassion black and blue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CN racism (real bad), child abuse

"Hermione, can you help me?", Ron asked.  
  
She looked up from the essay she was writing about the chicken pox cure potion.  
  
"Maybe.", she answered.  
  
"I've turned my eyelashes darker and there are white spots in my hair. Can you turn it back?"  
  
"You - why exactly?", she couldn't help but smile.  
  
"Please, just don't ask. But you're best in Transfigurations. Please, just reverse it." He had tried to turn his eyebrows darker but it hadn't worked.  
  
"If you stop making fun of me."  
  
"I didn't - okay, I will. I swear on Merlin's pink underpants."  
  
"Reverto!"  
  
She drew a mirror from her pocket and held it up to his face.  
  
"Better?"  
  
"Yeah. You're the best. Thank you!"  
  
Hermione smiled. She had a pretty smile, and she was really clever. Maybe she wasn't so annoying after all. He smiled back at her and retreated coyly.

 

* * *

 

 

After a long day in the greenhouses during herbology, transplanting dittany, nightshade and other highly toxic plants, Harry and Ron crashed on the sofa in front of the fireplace after dinner, unable to move any further.  
  
"See where the leaves of that deadly witch-rose touched me? It's all red!" Harry showed his arm to Ron.  
  
"Yeah. Have you seen Li's shoes?"  
  
Harry nodded. He tilted his head back and closed his eyes. Ron heard something touch one of the crown glass windows from the outside. It was an owl, judging by the moving blurry picture. He jumped immediately to open the window, but it was too late: Errol had already crashed on the windowsill. He carried him inside, lay him down on an armchair and fetched a bowl with water. The Weasleys' family owl had brought a letter for him, and one each for his brothers.  
  
"Hey, my mother would be happy to have you at our home in the summer!", he said to Harry while reading, "But she says you have to stay at the Dursleys' at least for some days."  
  
Harry smiled. "I think I can endure that."  
  
Ron hesitated, looked around to check if they were really alone, and then asked: "What - what else have they done except letting you sleep in that cupboard under the stairs?"  
  
Harry opened his eyes slowly.  
  
"You don't have to tell, of course.", Ron added.  
  
But Harry answered.  
  
"It's hard to tell what's been bad because that's just always been how things were. But the more I see how kind your parents are to you - the more I realize just how cruel the Dursleys been to me."  
  
Ron had already come to value the relationship with his parents very differently.  
  
"They've always made me do many chores for them ever since I can remember. I prepared breakfast for them, cleaned the house, watered the plants. If I did something wrong they screamed at me and locked me in the cupboard. Chores often were punishment for mistakes in previous chores. I'm very afraid of them. My cousin, Dudley, who is my age, never had to do anything. Instead, I had to tidy his room and clean it, and he ordered my around all the time. Also at school."  
  
Harry looked at his hands, then continued.  
  
"Often when I - ask for something, like - books, they say I don't need them because I'm too stupid for it anyway. Like my father, they say he wasn't good at learning. They said that comes with being Black." He paused. "Am I stupid?" He looked at Ron.  
  
"What? No. You're not!", Ron replied, "They really told you that?"  
  
"Yes. Also Dudley was always better at school than I was."  
  
"That's not much of a surprise when you spend all your time at home being terrorized by your step parents, I think."  
  
Harry seemed to need some time thinking around that. "Probably. They also hired a private teacher for him in the harder subjects."  
  
"See!", Ron exclaimed, "Also, what does that have to do with being Black?"  
  
"I don't know.", Harry shrugged. He looked very sad. His rather long straight hair fell over his face. Ron moved closer and put one arm around his shoulders. He felt insecure if that was something boys did, but then Harry really seemed to need it.  
  
"Fuck them. You can show off your good grades at Hogwarts once you get back to them.", he tried to comfort him.  
  
"I can't. They hate me being here. They did everything they could to prevent it. Hagrid had to take me here."  
  
"Why? Wouldn't it be a good thing for them to send you away if they hate you that much?", Ron suggested.  
  
"I don't know. They hate everything that's magic. I think aunt Petunia never liked that her sister was a witch."  
  
"I'm sorry.", he paused, "Do you want tea?" That's what his mother always did when people were sad: make them tea.  
  
Harry looked up. "Um - yes."  
  
Ron fetched two cups and the pot from the magic tea warmer that stood in one corner. After he sat down again, some one got up behind them. Ron turned around, as did Harry. It was Hermione, who had obviously quietly done homework until now, not noticed by the two boys.  
  
"She seems very lonely.", Ron said after she had left.  
  
Harry didn't reply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes I'm real bad at finding chapter names. yes they're all lyrics from tool.


	5. relax, turn around and take my hand

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CN transphobia

When Ron entered the bathroom the next time, a note lay on the make up table. It was obviously hexed, because as he touched it, the shopping list turned into a short letter adressed to him.  
  
_Hi Weasley,_  
  
_I've seen you're using bandages to bind. It's not safe to do that and there are better alternatives. I'll see what I can find out about it._  
_Also, I'm so jealous you figured it out before coming to Hogwarts. The whole school knows I'm trans. It's no fun, really._  
  
_See you, Adeelah_  
  
He didn't know how to hex notes, so he wrote "Thank you!" on the mirror with kohl.

 

* * *

 

 

"Hey! You coming to Potions with me?", Harry asked Ron, who played wizard chess against Percy in the common room.  
  
"Oh. Yes, sure. Will you wait for me? I have to get that essay for Snape. Sorry, Percy, we can continue after Potions!"  
  
Harry nodded and Ron ran. They hurried, but were late nonetheless. Snape immediately withdrew five points from Gryffindor each and added one of his unkind comments. Seamus looked at them and rolled his eyes. Ron wasn't sure if he was annoyed by Snape or his belated class mates. The two quietly fetched their equipment and sat down next to Hermione and Neville. They were apparently going to brew a cure for chicken pox, which sounded rather boring.  
  
"You have 40 minutes from now on. I won't condone any mistakes.", Professor Snape instructed them while shooting a stern glance to Ron and Harry.  
  
Ron got the needed ingredients and sat down to cut bitterroot into small cubical pieces. Harry cut the fluxweed, added lemon juice and water and started cooking it on low heat.  
  
"That Adeelah you talked about in the great hall recently, did you know she is trans? She's been a boy when she started school here.", he whispered.  
  
Ron felt his face become hot. He slowly shook his head. His view blurred.  
  
"Wood told me, his sister is in her year. He said she came out during second year." Harry had recently joined the Gryffindor Quidditch team, which had left Ron jealous of this achievement. Oliver Wood was the team captain. "Seems it has been quite a thing and there are still people who call her Adrian. She's also been thrown out of her family's home. But she doesn't look like a boy at all, don't you think?", Harry continued.  
  
"What?", Ron answered. His faced had gone from red to pale white when Harry mentioned that Adeelah got thrown out of her home.  
  
"Um - she doesn't look like -"  
  
"I got that!", Ron hissed, "I mean, she got thrown out of her home? Where does she stay now?"  
  
"I don't know. I haven't asked."  
  
"That must have been dreadful! I hope she's okay."  
  
Harry nodded. "Yes. She must have found some solution though, she's still here and that happened two years ago. So I think she is okay."

Ron's face colour returned. "Hopefully.", he answered.

Harry seemed unsure if he wanted to ask, but then did. "Anyway, I don't really get it. You just get born one or the other gender, I think? Why would one want to change that?"  
  
"Don't forget the ginger.", Ron said in a squeaking voice.  
  
Harry gave him a worried look, wrinkling his thick black eyebrows.  
  
"What? We don't need ginger. Let me see. We forgot the Hamburg parsley. Why didn't you tell me we were supposed to put it in before stirring?"  
  
Ron sighed quietly. Hermione shook her head on their conversation. Their potion had become muddy brown, while the one from Neville and Hermione had a healthy-looking green colour.  
  
"Guess we failed this.", Ron suggested pessimistically, feeling responsible.  
  
"We'll do better next time.", Harry hissed through clenched teeth, "I hate Potions." He crushed the Hamburg root as if it was personally responsible for their failure. Ron felt sympathetic for the vegetable.

 

* * *

 

 

_Hey Ron (I asked Fred for your name),_  
  
_I'll wait behind the last greenhouse for you at 2 pm on Sunday afternoon._  
  
_See you,_  
_Adeelah_


	6. watch the weather change

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you'll have to wait for Adeelah a bit ...

Since they'd defeated the troll together, Hermione was Harry's and Ron's friend now. Ron definitely welcomed that. He had a hard time not looking at her in classes anyway, and now there was a better reason for it.  
  
"Morning", she said brightly.  
  
The two boys mumbled her greeting back at her. Ron slowly poked in his scrambled eggs, drank some tea and just as slowly his sleepy mind awoke. He really had a hard time getting up in the morning. His thoughts circled around what he had been thinking about last night.  
  
"I wonder where the Hogwarts train is from and how it's maintained.", he explained.  
  
"What?", Harry answered, "Why that?"  
  
"Is it so bad I'm interested in something?", Ron countered.  
  
"Okay, why now?", Harry specified.  
  
"There's a short passage in 'Hogwarts - A History'", Hermione helped him, "But I'm sure you can find more on it in the library." She thought a bit about it, then added: "I find it strange how little we learn about magical objects anyway. There's some of it in Charms, but other than that, there's only an elective in the sixth and seventh year called 'Magical Engineering'."  
  
"I heard it's usually not provided because nobody is interested. And Runes is a lot about enchanting things, too, like gemstones by carving runes in them, but I guess that's a different thing.", Ron nodded.  
  
Harry looked at him in astonishment.  
  
"Oh, stop staring!", Ron grumbled.  
  
"It's nice to hear somebody else say that.", Harry replied.  
  
Since school had started, Ron hadn't exactly shown a lot of interest in his scholastic education. His male peers obviously approved and that had been all that mattered really, but he was growing bored of it. Getting valued for academic interest by Hermione didn't sound too bad, either - and then, nobody questioned his gender, so he didn't have to try that hard, maybe. Ron shook his head slightly on that train of thoughts. He probably spent way too much time thinking about if he was manly enough, while nobody else really cared.  
  
"We can look for some books tonight, if you like.", suggested Hermione.  
  
His heart jumped a little at that. While he took another sip of his tea, it dawned on him that he had a crush on her. Now, what exactly did that mean, regarding his orientation? He wouldn't act on that crush anyway, so he didn't bother thinking too much about it.

 

* * *

  
  
Ron closed 'Magical Plants and Herbs in Southern England', in which he had been researching on Aconite for his Herbology essay, finally being done with it. He got up, brought the book back and wandered around the shelves, looking for a book that would inform him on magical engineering. Unfortunately, the books were sorted alphabetically by authors and not by topics, which would have been a lot more helpful. So he kept wandering for an hour until, with the help of Hermione, they finally made out a book by the title 'Technology in the Wizarding World'. The index looked rather promising, but also like a tough read. He borrowed it from Madam Pince, who reminded him not to read it while eating or drinking. Ron nodded absent-mindedly and sat down next to Hermione, who rewrote her entire Herbology essay.  
  
_The machines and technical devices used by wizen nowadays seem more than a bit antiquated to anybody who is only slightly familiar with recent muggle engineering advances. Wizen didn't get stuck in a certain decade regarding the use of muggle machines, instead the machines used now where popular among muggles in different decades. Often, there was no need to develop or copy better technology because the disadvantages could be improved with magic and hence fulfilled the needs at the time. But the wizarding world's tendency to stick with a certain technological product that was good enough at a time has long become an autonomous concept: there is a lot of muggle technology that could be useful to wizen, and lots of already used technology that could be improved with recently discovered enchantments. Unfortunately, the field is not popular among wizen, hence it has not developed much recently._  
  
_This book will give an overview of the history of enchanting technology, the technological exchange between wizen and muggles, common enchantments used on technology, and famous enchanted machines. It concludes with assisting hints on how to develop magical machines or devices. This book will cover the basic functional principles of muggle technology, but for an extensive understanding of the subject muggle literature will have to be consulted._  
  
Ron paused and looked out the window. He didn't understand everything he had just read. It was long dark, but he could see lit windows in the Gryffindor tower. They shined onto black roofs, wet from recent rain. If he continued on this subject, he'd be made fun of a lot because he'd mirror his father, who collected ordinary muggle artefacts like telephones or lamps. Even though he would most probably not start to collect broken facsimiles, this was a rather geeky topic. But then, he had already spent way too much time acting in ways he didn't like because people expected him to do so. He pulled up his shoulders, the bandages hurt his chest. He decided to continue reading behind the closed curtains of his bed. He was curious anyway, but especially because of his chest he couldn't wait to meet Adeelah.  
  
"I'll be going back to the dorm.", he said to Hermione.  
  
"Okay." The witch rolled up her essay and shoved the books in her bag. "I'm coming along."  
  
"So, how's your book on magical engineering?", she asked him on the way out.  
  
"It's a tough read, but seems really interesting. I think I'll dive into that topic."  
  
Hermione nodded approvingly. "I'm reading about runes currently. I can't wait until that elective starts."  
  
"I don't know much about it, but I've heard you can do real mighty magic with runes."  
  
"Yes, you can actually use them in many ways. The upside of rune magic is, it's very permanent and rather powerful. The downside is, the outcome can't be influenced as well as with wand magic. You have to get by with the rune's magic properties, but you can combine them."  
  
"Tell me if you're doing any rune magic. I'd be interested in that."  
  
Hermione smiled at him. "I actually thought you weren't interested in school much."  
  
"I think it was rather -" Ron stood still. _Somebody_ had looked at them from outside the window, with light eyes buried in thought in the deep dark night. He stepped closer to the window and looked outside, but there was nobody and there wasn't even a windowsill to stand on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah no I'm certainly not writing myself into Ron *cough*  
> there'll be more on that magical engineering, i think


	7. homo mutationis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll have plenty of time in the next few weeks cause I'm at a hospital. So you can look forward to more chapters soon! I might even invent a plot out of these hints I dropped and didn't think much about ...

Ron came 20 minutes early to his meeting with Adeelah. He sat in the autumn sun, turning fir needles into caterpillars and back, when she broke his concentration.   
  
"Want to walk a bit?", she asked.   
  
Ron nodded.  
  
"How's been school so far?", she asked.  
  
"Interesting. But it's hard."  
  
"It won't really get any easier.", she smiled.  
  
Ron hesitated. "Harry said you got thrown out of your parents' house." It really bothered him.  
  
"Yes." Adeelah looked sad. "I started dressing like this at Hogwarts. My parents said I'd have to stop it or I've never been their child."  
  
"I'm so sorry."  
  
"It's not easy. I work at Ollivander's during breaks to afford school. I've been doing that before, but now I have to. Some friends also support me."  
  
"Shit."  
  
"He pays okay, at least. And I get free acommodation with him."  
  
"Do you want to become a wandmaker?", he asked.  
  
"Yes."   
  
That was impressing.  
  
"If you ever - if there's anything I can help you with, or my family - just ask, please. Money is just not something we have a lot of."  
  
"Thank you, I appreciate that. So - do you want to know what I found out about chest binding?", she continued.  
  
"Yes!"  
  
"Okay, so. Thomas - that's a friend of mine - said using ace bandages is really not a good idea. It can hurt your skin and makes your back ache. They said you should get a binder. It's a clothing part out of Lycra and cotton that's specially designed for binding safely. But you should really take breaks and not bind too long. They said at highest eight hours. It can be bad for your lungs or make you dizzy. Oh, and after taking off your binder you should cough."  
  
"What? Why that?"  
  
"During binding water collects in the lung.", Adeelah answered.  
  
"Okay. But where do I get a binder?"  
  
"In a muggle shop. You have to order it."  
  
"I don't have muggle money."  
  
"Thomas could order one for you. It's six galleons."  
  
"I'll ask my parents about it.", he said gloomily, "Thank you. You're very kind." Six galleons were a lot.  
  
She smiled. "I guess being trans unites across house borders. I can also tell you a spell to thicken your eyebrows. There are more complex spells, for slightly altering your face or body shape. I'm using those. But you usually learn them in sixth year so I wouldn't advice using them now. And currently, you pass so well without them. Changing hair is less difficult, but all of these spells wear off rather fast."  
  
"Isn't there - isn't there some way to change your whole body permanently?", Ron asked. Magic must have come up with something.  
  
"That's difficult, but there are different ways to do it. You can become a _homo mutationis_. It's very rare that people do this, but it basically means you have another human body you can easily transform into. Like _animagi_ , but with a human body after transformation instead of an animal body. I've never really looked into it because I suck at transfigurations and I actually like my body as it is. With advanced body modification spells you can also shrink or grow your breasts or similar. But it's actually easier to use muggle medicine, like hormone treatment, because that's permanent."   
  
"Okay. What's that?"  
  
Adeelah explained. "I already asked Thomas about it. They are multiplying the testosterone gel they got years ago from a friend for themself and they could give some to you. But it's really safer to have a physician check your blood levels from time to time."  
  
"Can Madam Pomfrey do that?"  
  
Adeelah smiled and nodded. "Better ask her before. And check with your parents." She sighed. "It's good to have them on your side on this."

 

* * *

 

 

Ron opened a tome about ghosts and similar creatures on a library table and traced his finger along the table of contents. He wasn't sure what he was looking for, just he was pretty sure the thoughtful green eyes didn't belong to an ordinary ghost. They had appeared again through the past weeks, staring at him from dark shadows beneath staircases or behind doors and disappearing as soon as he came near. He had already looked for it in *100 Death Omes* but thankfully, it wasn't listed there.  
  
There was a long chapter about the common grey ghosts that also lived in Hogwarts, but it stated that these can't ever be colourful as colour is clearly bound to forms of life, wether permanent or not. However, there were numerous variants of ghosts and ghost-like creatures that were actually alive, could inhabit alive creatures or were able to manifest in a non-permanent alive body. But many ghosts were regional phenomena. Just as grey ghosts were common in Europe, guǐ were common in south-east Asia or hantu in Malay culture. Some ghosts were able to inhabit different alive shapes like animals. Thus, assuming that the eyes belonged to a sentient being, Ron found only few possible creatures in the book that fitted what he had seen and occured in the UK. According to his research, it could be a shadow, a spectre or a tenebra.   
  
_**Shadow** Shadows are literally the shadows of the lives of common wizen who can spend eternity in any place, but usually the Ancient Greek underworld. A shadow isn't able to actively take part in any life in death as it remains in the state it died. Shadows can be summoned by the help of a blood duty. This process is regarded Dark. Although it is possible, shadows rarely exist in the human sphere. They can also be summoned in any sphere. See [36] or [54] for further reading on the topic._  
  
 _ **Spectre** A spectre is the mind of a wizen that had unfinished purpose in the human sphere when they died. It can manifest in its former body by willpower, but this is exhausting for the spectre. The frequency, visibility and duration of manifestations depend on the magic power of the former wizen. The spectre vanishes if their purpose is fulfilled, wether their own actions lead to the fulfilment or somebody else did. It is of course possible that the purpose of a spectre can never be fulfilled after their death, e. g. because the people involved in the purpose died. Thus the spectre will haunt the place forever [46]. Spectre have the full knowledge the wizen had when they died, but they cannot acquire any new knowledge [90]._  
  
 _ **Tenebra** Certain Dark practices deprive the performing wizen of their life and leave, if practiced for too long, just a husk of their bodies and souls. The wizen usually don't realize this until they're already only barely alive [102]. Tenebrae are commonly malicious and lack the cognitive abilities the Dark wizen once had. Most tenebrae came into existence during the 18th century when a new branch of life preservative Dark magic was invented, but its menaces weren't known yet [103]. With the deliberate help of a living person which they deprive of life, they can manifest partly. They communicate with a possible victim through books or pictures by or of the former wizen. The creatures frantically pursue the aims the wizen had once they manifest [104]. The last tenebra was reported in May 1942 [105]._  
  
"What are you reading?", asked Hermione.  
  
Ron held the tome up to show her the cover. Hermione raised her eyebrows as she read the title.   
  
"That seems buoyant," she commented.  
  
"These eyes I saw weeks ago," Ron explained, "I've been seeing them again, and not just once. I'm really worried."  
  
"So, what have you got?", Hermione asked.  
  
Ron shared his research.

 

* * *

 

 

Ron stayed behind after his friends. He'd want to ask Professor McGonagal about something, he'd said, and Harry had placed a look on Hermione, and another long look on Ron. Hermione had answered she'd wait for him in the library.  
  
"I need to ask you something, Professor."  
  
"Go ahead, my dear.", she answered.  
  
"Does the _alter_ of a _homo mutationis_ age with the wizen?"  
  
The teacher stopped in her movement performing a summoning spell to collect the buttons they had needed for the class. Hence, the tables slid half a meter closer to her.  
  
"Mr. Weasley, it's very hard to become a _homo mutationis_ , I'm afraid. It's comparable to becoming an _animagus_."  
  
Ron lowered his eyes. "Yes, I'm aware ..."  
  
"But yes, the _alter_ does age with the wizen." She turned to him. "I understand why you're interested in that, Mr. Weasley. But -"  
  
"Professor, I'm not planning on doing this any time soon. I know I need to be a lot better at transfigurations before. I just read about it recently, and it sounds like something I really want to do later on. I thought, maybe - you could help me with it."  
  
The professor sighed, and then nodded. "Alright, Mr. Weasley. We will start with it in third year, but I expect Outstanding results in your transfiguration exams."  
  
"Thank you, professor!", Ron beamed.  
  
"Did you know the procedure was invented by a trans witch?"  
  
"No. I just read it was invented by some wizard in the late 19th century."  
  
"Actually, it was a skilled transfigurist named Dorit Carneiro. Authors unfortunately make a habit of quoting her with her dead name."


End file.
